Summer

A friend of mine pointed me in the direction of her blog which reminded me I had not "chatted" in quite a while now.

No point going into the long, wet summer we have just experienced as I really did not do that much at all and actually ended up quite down but I shall mention a little.

Have to say the caravan holiday actually turned out to be very good - I was quite surprised.

I had also been contacted by an x boyfriend from my teenage years which surprised me to say the least. He contacted me via my parents with not so cool photographs of myself from the 80's. They were pretty hilarious though and the perm ............. OMG need I say any more!!! May scan at some point and upload here.

I had a good think about contacting him and I did. We met for coffee and it was as though we had never been apart. I really enjoyed his company and so a couple of further 'dates' ensued. He stated he was going through the divorce procedure and his wife was taking it very hard. He also has two kids and I am sure it was hurting him not seeing them as often as he could. Anyway, the time came for me to leave to go on caravan holiday and he was actually taking kids off himself so we agreed to meet once we were both back. That meeting never occurred due to the fact that he called me and gave me the "it's not your fault............. it's mine.............", "I am not ready for a relationship....................", "I have the kids to think about..............."!! Which is ALL fine trust me, however I think and my gut instinct told me, I was not receiving the full story.

More importantly, one of my very good friend's mother died at the end of June and to say I was upset was an understatement. I felt completely and utterly crushed and although I knew her mum quite well, I could not understand this feeling of 'falling apart' I had. Upon reflection and much discussion, it is clear I was experiencing feelings of strong emotions for my friend who had lost her mum. I love her dearly and seeing her hurt so badly and not be able to do anything about it rendered me, well, helpless. However, she did say more than once that at least she was able to be herself with me and not put on a face. So all in all, a lot of tears this summer.

Why are holidays so stressful?

Off with the kids and my parents on holiday tomorrow for a week - why is getting ready for holidays sooooooooo stressful?!?!?!?!?!?! I swear I could just lie down and hide for the week and not bother going anywhere!

Looking forward to being there just not the GETTING there! It's okay for the kids - they are just lying around watching TV chillaxin whilst Im the one packing cases, thinking "what have I forgot" and then thinking "to heck with it.............. sit at computer"!!!

I best get moving !!!